The first thing that we do when we get in the truck to go home from church is to discuss the sermon, and take turns giving detailed reports about what we learned in Sunday School.
Not really. Hannah and I power walk across the parking lot to the truck so that we can turn the radio on, and listen to A Prairie Home Companion. The show’s theme was jokes, and by the end of the program I had gained courage—courage to tell bad jokes, old jokes, and silly jokes.
Here’s a selection of goofy jokes from A Prairie Home Companion.
Before they invented golf balls, how did they measure hailstones?
Why did the Romans shut down the colisium? Because they ate up the prophets.
Why didn’t the oyster give up her shell? Because she was shellfish.
So, some blondes and a brunette were on the ladder of a helicopter and the pilot of the helicopter said, “We need one of you to let go of the ladder and fall to your death so that the copter can stay up.” The brunette said, “I’ll do it,” and she let go. And the blondes clapped.
“I used to hate to go into the woods. The chiggers would drive me crazy, but now I know how to keep them off me. I just dab a little whiskey around the top of my socks.”
“Whiskey?! What good does that do?”
“Well, chiggers can’t be boozers, you know.”
A man arrived at a dress-up ball carrying a young woman on his back.
Someone inquired, “What have you come as?” He answered, “I’m a snail.”
“But what about the woman on your back?”
“Oh, she’s Michelle.”
One day a cat died and went to heaven. He was greeted by God who asked, “What would you like during your stay in heaven?” The cat replied, “I’ve had to stay outside all my life so I’d like a nice soft pillow.” “You got it,” God said. The next day, some mice arrived in heaven and were greeted by God who asked, “What would you like during your stay in heaven?” They replied, “We’ve had to run from cats our whole lives, so we’d like some roller skates.” “Granted,” God said, and off they went. The next day God was strolling through heaven and came upon the cat resting on his pillow and asked, “How have things been?” The cat stretched and yawned and then replied, “Just wonderful, and those meals on wheels were especially nice.”
Here’s what Garrison Keillor, host of A Prairie Home Companion, has to say about jokes:
Jokes are democratic. Telling one right has nothing to do with having money or being educated. It’s a knack, like hammering a nail straight. Anyone can learn it, and it’s useful in all sorts of situations. You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy.
So, I’m going to start practicing telling jokes, even if they sound like some of Hannah’s elementary school jokes.
Oh, yeah, we do discuss the sermon—during Sunday dinner.