1. If it’s raining at your house . . . it’s not raining at mine, where drought drags on and on.
2. If Hannah’s not at home . . . she’s at summer band learning a marching show to the rock opera “Tommy.”
3. If fish is on the dinner menu . . . it’s salmon because salmon is in season, and on sale.
4. If kitchen cabinet doors are standing wide open . . . I’m the one who forgot to close them.
5. If I wake up in the middle of the night . . . it’s because a bird chirps outside my window every night, all night.
6. If the skys turn dark and the wind picks up . . . it will rain torrents at your house and .004 at my house.
7. If Mark is listening to the radio in the evening . . . it’s an Australian station, or Japanese, or Irish, or Brazilian . . . .
8. If I find a spider in my house . . . I will grant it permanent residential status.
9. If you look in my refrigerator you will always find a container of fat-free milk . . unless Mark bought 2% when I wasn’t looking.
10. If you meet me while grocery shopping . . . you will see me in the ice cream section looking for Blue Bell cantaloupe ice cream that Frank raved about, and did not save even one bite for me.
11. If I hear someone knocking at my front door . . . it’s the neighborhood blue jay rapping his beak on the window asking for more peanut butter suet.
12. If I said that I’m taking a blogging break for a week or so . . . I really meant a month or so. 😉